Loneliness: A Biography

I'm an average sixteen year old girl who lives in a place that's considered way too far from downtown or uptown life, but that doesn't stop me from hoping for something more. Over these past few months, I've been growing accustomed to being really, really bored. I mean, I've reached the point wherein I literally do nothing but sit on the couch, doing shit on my laptop and whatever, and although to others it may sound like typical teenage behavior but I'm honestly becoming so tired of it. Ironically enough, I'm on my laptop right now.

I could shut it off in three seconds (thank gods for Apple and it's reliability) but then what? I'll probably go on mobile instead and browse through my Twitter and Instagram feed (which happens at least 23 times a day) and even though it's become a routine already, I'm getting so sick of it. The worse part is, if I do permanently shut both my laptop and my phone off forever, I will literally die of boredom. It's like losing a vital organ or something, to say the least.

I live in a village wherein I don't know 98% of the people (NOT an exaggeration) and my friends are either not home, or too far away. That situation alone sucks but there are contributing factors as to why things are worse: the city is 20 minutes away (on car) (I don't have a car), my brothers are introverts (just like everyone in this goddam place), my parents don't allow me to commute, and my friends are actually several miles away.

In every website I regularly visit, I see these pictures of people hanging out at night and eating at cafés, but reality damned me and I'm stuck here listening to Sam Smith. I don't know what to do and it freaking sucks. The truth devastates me and makes me crave the American life much more; especially when I watch movies like The First Time (DYLAN BÆ) since you can just walk to cafés and cool parking lots and parties. The nearest public place to my house is the Church. And we don’t even have much inexpensive cafés within the five-mile radius. I’m content with my life, but I believe in something more.